Swallowing Rain

We sit facing the forest, its tree branches flickering under the constant forks of lightning. There are two of us here, yet one is absent, has been for two days, these long-standing absences that mar the Mexican landscape. We wait what now feels a chronic wait. Along the trail in the forest, a man sprints under the rain, sparking a pang dead in the middle of my chest. He picks up pace until the encroaching darkness of evening swallows him whole. The wind all around us is whooshing through the bushes and trees, and chases the hair across my face. As I tug it back, it seems like I can’t hide my unease.

       “You should have gone too,” the other one tells me, impervious to the wet gush of wind, as if readying himself for stints of biblical rain.

       “What good would’ve come from that?” I say, aware of the whine in my voice.

        If he notices, he doesn’t comment, only sighs against the wind’s fizz. “That way I could deal with my anxiety, and mine only.”

        I shake my head, noticing how the wind is edged with thicker drops of rain, all of them falling in a slant, as if they were punctuation marks, or powdery shards of broken glass.

 ‘     ‘      ‘      ‘ ‘       ‘       ‘         ‘    ‘  ‘’       ‘        ‘     ‘’’’      ‘     ‘    /   /    /  ‘’    //  ‘’    ‘     ‘   ‘   ‘    ‘        ‘         ‘       ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘’’’   ‘    ‘   ‘   ‘  ‘ ‘  ‘’’  ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘        ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ /  ‘’  ‘’’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ///// ‘’’’ ‘ ‘’ ‘’’ ‘’’ ‘’ ‘ ‘’’’   ‘’ ‘ ‘’’’’’’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘/   ‘’’  /  ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘// ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’’’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘’’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘

          “The land is here, but there is no one left,” I say. “And a place is its people. It seems like disappearance is decimating us to nothing. The few of us left haunting the place.”

         He looks at me and then at the humid night. It’s hard to know how much of what I’ve said he’s really taken in, but that’s nothing new. The rain-encrusted wind is now blowing from every side. In the distance, the roar of thunder shakes the earth lightly under us, vaguely reminiscent of this country’s earthquakes. Once the rumbling fades, I look out towards the wind blowing through the sheet of rain, only rain, not returning people // ‘’’ /      /////     ‘ ‘’’’’’ // // /// ‘/’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’’’  ‘’’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ / ‘’’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  //// ‘’’’’  ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘‘’ ‘ “ /// ‘’’’ /’/’///////////‘‘’’’//////////////////////////////////////////////’///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

        “Fact is,” he says, “people should come and go as they please.”

        “I really feel like he’s dead.

        My comment doesn’t throw him off, “No, I don’t think so, no.”

        The most I can muster is a silent shake of the head, the silvery fizz of the rain misting against my skin, rain that now masks everything behind it. All I can do is watch it, the wind and raindrops at such a pitch that it’s almost like they’re going to wreck everything in sight, leaving nothing for him if he does ever return.

      To suppress this onslaught of worry-through-absence, I try to focus on the rain, on every single drop, letting them push out my every, intruding, wind-swift thought, ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’///////////////////////////////////////’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘////// ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’///////////////////////////////////////’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘     ‘       ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ///////////////////////////// ‘’ ‘’’’       ‘’’’’      ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’’’ // / /  ‘ ‘ ‘ //////////////////// ///// ‘ ‘ /////// /

‘        ‘         ‘   ‘’’’’       ‘’ ‘ /     //// /      /  ‘’’’     ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’      ‘’’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘’’ ‘’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’ ///////////////////////////// ‘’ ‘’’’       ‘’’’’      ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘    /  / ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ /    / / ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ /   /  / ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘   ‘  ‘

‘        ‘         ‘   ‘’’’’       ‘’ ‘ /     //// /      /  ‘’’’     ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’      ‘’’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘’’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘      ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´      ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘     ‘     ‘    ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘      ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´      ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘       ‘                             ‘                                 ‘ ‘            ‘   ‘               ‘                 ‘     ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘     ‘       ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ///////////////////////////// ‘’ ‘’’’       ‘’’’’      ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’’’ // / /  ‘ ‘ ‘ //////////////////// ///// ‘ ‘ /////// /

‘        ‘         ‘   ‘’’’’       ‘’ ‘ /     //// /      /  ‘’’’     ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’      ‘’’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘’’ ‘’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’ ///////////////////////////// ‘’ ‘’’’       ‘’’’’      ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘    /  / ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ /    / / ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ /   /  / ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘   ‘  ‘

‘        ‘         ‘   ‘’’’’       ‘’ ‘ /     //// /      /  ‘’’’     ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’      ‘’’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘’’ ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘      ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´      ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘             ‘                  ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘     ‘             ‘                  ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘             ‘                 ’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’  ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘////// ‘ ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘             ‘                 ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘     ‘       ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘             ‘                  

‘        ‘         ‘   ‘’’’’       ‘’ ‘ /     //// /      /  ‘’’’     ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’      ‘’’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ``````````     `     `     `      `       ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘             ‘                  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘    /  / ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ /    / /  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ /   /  / ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘   ‘  ‘

‘        ‘         ‘   ‘’’’’       ‘’ ‘ /     //// /      /  ‘’’’     ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’      ‘’’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘’’ ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘      ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´      ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘      ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´      ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘       ‘                             ‘                                 ‘ ‘            ‘   ‘               ‘                 ‘     ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘     ‘       ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’ ‘’’’       ‘’’’’      ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’’’ // / /  ‘ ‘ ‘                                ‘ ‘

‘        ‘         ‘   ‘’’’’       ‘’ ‘ /     //// /      /  ‘’’’     ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’      ‘’’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘’’ ‘’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’ ‘’ ‘’’’       ‘’’’’      ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘    /  / ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ /    / /  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ /   /  / ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘   ‘  ‘

‘        ‘         ‘   ‘’’’’       ‘’ ‘ /     //// /      /  ‘’’’     ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’      ‘’’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘’’ ‘     ‘    ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘      ´´´´                               ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘             ‘            ‘        ‘         ‘   ‘’’’’       ‘’ ‘ /     //// /      /  ‘’’’     ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’      ‘’’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘’’ ‘’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’ ‘’ ‘’’’       ‘’’’’      ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘    /  / ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ /    / / ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ /   /  / ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘   ‘  ‘

‘        ‘         ‘   ‘’’’’       ‘’ ‘ /     //// /      /  ‘’’’     ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’      ‘’’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘’’ ‘     ‘    ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘      ´´´´                               ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘             ‘                     ‘       

‘        ‘         ‘   ‘’’’’       ‘’ ‘ /     //// /      /  ‘’’’     ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’      ‘’’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘ ‘’ ‘’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘’ ‘  ‘’’ ‘     ‘    ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘      ´´´´                               ``````````     `     `     `      `        ``````````````         ```        `   ` ‘     ‘     ‘     ‘       ‘     ‘      ‘             ‘            ‘

‘                              ‘     ‘                           ‘              ‘                       ‘               ‘                  ‘          

until it seems like there are only drops falling from the branches of trees, clearing up the scene for him to return, visibly, materially, dead in the middle of this hollow.

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